a Love fast

I was reading an article this weekend that intrigued and inspired me to try to explore my loving side.
The basis and theory of this article is to do a love fast..now before going nuts and thinking i mean not getting lovin.
This is more of a giving love diet than anything else.
In life I have found as you give love so shall you receive. Well this diet takes it one step farther.
As people we tend to want reassurances of love and will be unsatisfied when we feel people fail to meet our expectations of how one should show love. We then take that as a sign that we are unloved and that the person in our life that we love so much, loves us not. We as people will tend to get needier and push the ones in our life to make declarations; pushing them even further from us. This is a cycle that can makes us moody and petulant and in the end really push the one we want closest, further and further away until one day we really only end up much further from our goal.

My challenge to myself and even my friends out there is for the next week to abstain from emotional neediness. To show love with no expectations of returned behavior. To give the ones you love a boost of your love.

For those willing to participate by writing about what doing this love fast taught you, I will send a gift to one lucky blogger responder. :)

Sometimes ya feel like a nut

So i have obviousely been quiet lately. I have been fully flying into the face of life.

Since the start of school I have really started investing my time into helping Dax and Dallon's school, Being a v.p of the pto has really been alot of fun and I found i have a passion for libraries and a talent for getting things done.My time is well used and I can tell I am making a difference everyday.

I am also doing a spiritual diet exploring and discovering who i am at my center. it can be scary and at times i fall short yet I can only hope with exploration's of my very being I can be a better mom and learn to love me for all my flaws..

Injuries that make you feel old

This post is my Whining post. I hate to whining as a rule. We all know we do it at times but most like me try to avoid it

For the last year or so my back has been bugging me not enough to disable me but enough that even i knew i needed to be more careful than in years past.

Yesterday as we were getting ready to leave the house i asked Dax and Dallon to put the dog in her kennel so we could leave. I got to the car only to discover that instead they put her in the car. I was very irritated since i was running late anyways. I hate to be late so this will always irritate me.
I picked up the dog and ran her inside and put her into the kennel. as i was putting her in i felt a pull and a little bit of pain, well at 31 little pains are becoming a bit more common so i got into my car and drove to my destinations.

When I got to the school it was a different pain all together. I was having sharper pains and my left leg was very painful. yet again I figured this to shall pass. With book fair next week and really needing to get stuff done for the school, I pushed on. As time went on during the day the pain got worse and worse. at 11:30 I couldn't walk almost at all and finally called derrick to come take me to the doctor.

Derrick of course was pretty irritated but he at least came and got me. When he saw me he was a bit repentant for giving me crap about getting hurt again as he put it.

So we went to the urgent care doctor's office. I was by this point a pile of barely walking crippled poop.

Well to my shock after all the tests were done I did not just pull a muscle I have compressed vertebrae and a pinched nerve, I now need to go see a back specialist and need to do physical therapy to help out with the pain.

Now here's the whiny part until this morning I was fine with all this, until this morning, now I just feel weepy and feel like having a pity party all day long.

I just do not understand why or even how this could have happened. Rolling up into a ball and mooping around the house for the next year sounds like a plan at this moment.

The pain is worse than i had hoped to be this morning and I hate to depend on others to do simple tasks that any body should be able to do. I could not even bend enough this morning to put my pants on. I feel so humiliated to have to ask my husband to help me put my pants on.

If god was aiming for humility I am there right about now.

ahh well maybe tomorrow i will have a grip lol.

Dax's day

I know as a parent I am doing all I can to teach them the rules of life. For each of my children this means different things. Day's like this make me wonder.

Yet as a mom of an autistic child I find that only after there is an issue can we really address the issues. Alot of life's lesson's have to be taught as they come up. normally through a bad behavior that comes years later than most kids.

Dax made some real developmental changes this year that helps me to have hope for his future, yet are making the here and now not so easy.

He came home today from school with a incident report stating that dax open handed slapped another child who was teasing him.

He is also drawing pictures of another child he is very un-fond of & punching him in the picture.

He is also teasing and acting out in alot of social areas.

Now to most parents these are red flags and even to me in some ways they are, yet I am also seeing that dax is finally after years of only crying when picked on and hiding in a corner, Reacting as one would when we are young and inexperienced in how to handle anger and emotions. Even us adults do not always handle these things well.

All Dax has done when hit,punched or teased at school or almost anywhere is cry. everything was tears and nothing more. He had no concept of self to defend. this year he has developed that sense of self and of most social concepts that coexist with it. This is good and bad.

So learning to stand up for himself is actually a wonderful development. handled badly on his part but that I can work on .

I as a mom feel bad for the other child but as dax's mom I think wow he is really developing isn't he!!!

Now for our part we have a no violence policy. We do not use corporeal punishment nor allow violent shows in our house. So due to the violence and general bad behavior, he is being sent to bed early, with only Peanut butter and jelly sand which with milk for dinner. He has also lost all WII time tonight and tomorrow morning ( that punishes me more than him ughh he thinks 4-5 am is wake up time, the WII has improved my sleep hours tremendously) and the T.V's are off for the night.

Joy

Fat Squirrel's and The Elephant Seals

After Hearst Castle We went on up the road about 2-3 miles and Stopped to see the Elephant seals.

These Squirrels got their picture taken based on the fact that In my life i have never seen fatter squirrels,
Squirrels tend to have very lil fat in summer but this big boy is very tubby I am going to assume everyone feeds them. ALOT, ROFL I wish I coulda taken them home and kept them and all there fluffy goodness hehehe
To be an elephant seal. laying on the beach resting for days and days
Sleeping in the surf no worries of drowning.
Well until another elephant seal got all up in your business

This video is just a small amount of all i saw when we were amongst the elephant seals.

First day of school

I Have been ultra busy the last few weeks with family and responsibilities of being the new PTO vice president of my son's school. ( THANKS JENN ROFLROFL) Yes they made me vp what were they thinking ROFL. Ohh and we want to announce our President is Jenn. yet again what was she thinking ROFLROFL

I wanted to stop and say THANK YOU to all those who helped with Dax's Tutoring. though it wasn't perfect the funds seemed to have paid off and Dax is now in upper first grade math he ended the 07-08 school year at a lower kindergarten level and now has jumped a grad and a half. I think it was money well spent. his reading at least maintained and thats all we really were hoping to do. So i just want to thank everyone that helped out. you will never know how much we appreciated the love you guys showed for Dax.

Dallon also benefited and raised himself up one full grade level in both subjects not bad for one summer.

I will let you all know how you can help dax's & dallon's school in the coming week's

Hearst Castle visitor center

We next went to Hearst castle
They have a wonderful visitors center which is FREE my favorite word. We enjoyed ourselves and were able to show our kids apart of California's history. Dallon loved the lions he thought it was cool how there were the same material but one had not had alot of handling by human hands.
They asked so many questions and seemed to love experience.
Obviously this Castle was built by a man since there were statues of nearly naked woman there also. I have to say it was tasteful though
My ever studious husband is seen here reading all he can on the history and lives of those involved in the Hearst legacy.
This was the end of the Visitors center so we took group photo's and went to look around some more.

More photo's to come.

Elfin forest and day 2

The Elfin Forest is a state park in California.This is a a few of the photo's I took of the area. I love how nature can offer such contrasting images for the eye to behold.
This is the view to the Estuary( salt march).
I have no idea what this flower is called but i just loved how the single flower is blossoming amongst the bramble of a briar patch.
Now what are those wild animals doing in there. shoo go on now. lol
My aunt Louise in her youth worked for the forestry department. She even did campfire tours for awhile. So she really seemed to enjoy showing my kids all about why they have it there and what it is all about. I of course got lost but well I have the ability to think 50 things at once and get lost in thought at a moments notice.

This was the end of day one. after all this we went home and went to bed. exhausted from all the day had brought us.


Now day 2 was spent doing alot of resting and a little bit of birthday shopping with just my grandpa,Louise and myself. We got Dallon star wars Lego's for the WII. since that was the only thing my sweetie wanted.

After that it was home to conversations and rest.

Part 2 of the Neds vacation the Avacado stand and Montana del Oro

After being at Louise's for a an hour or so and freshening up a little. Louise took every one but gram pa ( who was very tired ) To go see some of her favorite spots in the area

Montana Del Oro
Our first stop was at an Avocado farm that is along the highway to the beach.

Yes avocado's are a fruit.

I am a huge fan of avocado's so I was very very happy with this stop. I just love fresh off the farm fruit and vegetables so we picked up a few avocado's for our lunch. We made sure to get a few pictures of the farm and the cute cart they had on site. This cart appeared to be painted in a Slavic style all hand painted very nice and beautiful

The boys look so handsome together and they are so hammy they will do anything to get a photo taken of them even stand in front of a beautiful hand cart.

Dallon and Louise are standing below an Avocado's tree which actually had a few baby avocado's on it. Louise is holding the horde of lovely lunch time avocado's.

She was so generous and provided food for us on most of the day we were there.

It was very nice not having to worry what and where were we gonna eat. plus a home cook meal not cooked by me now that's a treat. I miss it already.

After all our picture fun at the avocado stand. We went on down the highway to our first destination. Montana Del Oro, In California along the coast you will find that along the coast many different types of Beach's are around. They range from cliff to sandy with variations and degrees within 20 miles of each other. This is a small reason why people so love the California coast .I doubt any where in the world will you find so many varying degrees of beach in such a small area.

Montana Del Oro is a rocky beach with a thick sand that is almost like walking in thick quick sand . Never ever wear flip flops to this kind of beach. Of course I did not think of this prior to leaving for the beach so of course I wore my sandals. There are 2 very good reasons not to wear flip flops.

1. They will not stay on your feet half your energy will be used to keep these sandals on.

2. There open toed so the rocks and the sand continually get under your toes. Very annoying and time consuming having to stop every few feet. just to remove the cup of rocks that has migrated under your toes.

These pictures are a prime example of the rocky sand you have to walk in. The plant life seems to love it. My feet ? not so much.

This is a lovely example of the beauty you will find there. I think i spent 50 % of my time collecting rocks and the other 50% taking picture. There was just so much to take in I am sure I could never do it justice. I just loved how the seaweed and rocks just interwove between each other creating an almost picture perfect image.

One thing I love about Rocky beach's is watching the waves. splash, crash and roll across the rocks. I find this so soothing and relaxing. It just amazes me how much beauty there is in this world. and California got more than there fair share for sure.

Dallon and Derrick seemed to really enjoy walking the beach together. They were very inseparable and at times alternating from walking silently to trying to find that hidden treasure that all little boys crave. Grown boy's are obviously no exception.

Even Dax joined in the hunt for buried treasure's.

Never before had they seen seaweed or ocean for that matter, so exploration was definitely in order. Hours of fun was had by all. This beach had all a boy could hope for.

1. Treasure's of the sea

2.Something to pretend was attacking you.

3.Mountains to conquer

3.Water to explore

4.Islands to claim as your own.

After we finished exploring we ate a nice lunch of cold cuts and avocado sandwich's. It was the yummiest sand which I have had in a long time.

We then packed up the bag and off to the Elfin forest we went, but that and much more of are trip is for another time.

Part 3 coming soon...

What I have done

Here goes...I read this on Cynthia's blog and liked it. All you have to do is put an * by the item you did.





1. Touched an iceberg
2. Slept under the stars*
3. Been a part of a hockey fight
4. Changed a baby's diaper*
5. Watched a meteor shower*
6. Given more than you can afford to charity* I have to watch myself on this I am sometimes too generouse so i have to limit what I do.
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain*
9. Held a tarantula* EWWWWWW
10. Said "I love you" and meant it*
11. Bungee jumped*
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise*
15. Seen the Northern Lights*
16. Gone to a huge sports game *
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables*Sooo Yummy
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope*
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment* i am notouriouse at bad timing laughter.
21. Had a pillow fight*
22. Bet on a winning horse *
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill*
24. Built a snow fort*
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping*
27. Taken an ice cold bath*
28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar*
29. Seen a total eclipse*
30. Ridden a roller coaster*
31. Hit a home run
32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking*
33. Adopted an accent for fun*
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors*
35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment*
36. Loved your job 90% of the time*
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Watched wild whales
39. Gone rock climbing*
40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach
41. Gone sky diving
42. Visited Ireland
43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant*
44. Visited India
45. Bench-pressed your own weight
46. Milked a cow*
47. Alphabetized your personal files
48. Ever worn a superhero costume*
49. Sung karaoke*
50. Lounged around in bed all day*
51. Gone scuba diving
52. Kissed in the rain*
53. Played in the mud*
54. Gone to a drive-in theater*
55. Done something you should regret, but don't*
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business*
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Been in a movie*
60. Gone without food for 3 days*
61. Made cookies from scratch*
62. Won first prize in a costume contest* I was a mime while pregnant with dax and won 100.00 for first prize
63. Got flowers for no reason*
64. Been in a combat zone
65. Spoken more than one language fluently
66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone*
67. Bounced a check*
68. Read - and understood - your credit report*
69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy*
70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did*
71. Called or written your Congress person
72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over*
73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
74. Helped an animal give birth*
75. Been fired or laid off from a job*
76. Won money*
77. Broken a bone
78. Ridden a motorcycle*
79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph*
80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
83. Eaten sushi*
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read The Bible cover to cover
86. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about*
87. Gotten someone fired for their actions*
88. Gone back to school *
89. Changed your name*
90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands*
91. Eaten fried green tomatoes
92. Read The Iliad*
93. Taught yourself an art from scratch*
94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt*
96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language*
97. Been elected to public office
98. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream*
99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you*
101. Had a booth at a street fair*
102. Dyed your hair*
103. Been a DJ
104. Rocked a baby to sleep*
105. Dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all fours*
106. Raked your carpet
107. Brought out the best in people
108. Brought out the worst in people*
109. Worn a mood ring*
110. Ridden a horse*
11. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap*
112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe*
113. Buried a child (I pray I never do)
114. Gone to a Broadway Play
115. Been inside the pyramids
116. Shot a basketball into a basket*
117. Danced at a disco*
118. Played in a band
119. Shot a bird
120. Gone to an arboretum*
121. Tutored someone*
122. Ridden a train*
123. Brought an old fad back into style
124. Eaten caviar
125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need*
126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
127. Published a book
128. Pieced a quilt*
129.Lived in an historic place
130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage*
131. Asked for a raise*
132. Made a hole-in-one*
133. Gone deep sea fishing
134. Gone roller skating*
135. Run a marathon
136. Learned to surf
137. Invented something
138. Flown first class
139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite*( SO NICE!!)
140. Flown in a helicopter
141. Visited Africa
142. Sang a solo*
143. Gone spelunking
144. Learned how to take a compliment
145. Written a love-story
146. Seen Michelangelo’s David
147. Had your portrait painted*
148. Written a fan letter
149. Spent the night in something haunted
150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane
151. Ran away*
152. Learned to juggle*
153. Been a boss *
154. Sat on a jury
155. Lied about your weight*
156. Gone on a diet*
157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
158. Written a poem*
159. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox*
160. Gotten food poisoning*
161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
162. Hiked the Grand Canyon
163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks*
164. Gone to the opera*
165. Gotten a letter from someone famous*
166. Worn knickers
167. Ridden in a limousine*
168. Attended the Olympics
169. Can hula or waltz*
170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
171. Been stuck in an elevator*
172. Had a revelatory dream*
173. Thought you might crash in an airplane*
174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert*
175. Saved someone’s life*
176. Eaten raw whale
177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint*
178. Laughed till your side hurt*
79. Straddled the equator
180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing*
181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival
.182. Sent a message in a bottle*
183. Spent the night in a hostel
184. Been a cashier*
185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
186. Joined a union
187. Donated blood or plasma*
188. Built a campfire*
189. Kept a blog*
190. Had hives*
191. Worn custom made shoes or boots
192. Made a PowerPoint presentation
193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course
194. Served at a soup kitchen*
195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube
196. Know CPR*
197. Ridden in or owned a convertible*
198. Found a long lost friend*
199. Helped solve a crime

Our Vacation day one pt 1

Our vacation got off to a decent start we were packed and ready by noon but despite derrick's boss forcing overtime all week and derrick and I has been hoping it would mean he could skip Friday all together, no such luck he worked till 2pm then hurried home. We then hurried so we could drop rent off at the landlords office. We were lucky and got on the road at about 3:30.

We planned ahead and had some snack food and the DVD player hooked up so the kids would take the trip well. for short trips we never us the DVD player but 16 hrs is along time for a 5 and 7 yr old.

around 5 pm we were in Wendover where we stopped for gas and dinner to go.

We choose Burger King since it was next to the gas station. BIG mistake that is the worst BK i have ever been to slow service and oh my i was so ready to beat some people. Only my husband kept me from beating deaf and dumb people!!!

After 15 minutes of waiting we got our food and were off again. we stopped 3 more times along the road for gas and bathroom breaks. Mostly just quick and easy stops for bathroom's etc

Taking turns between the 3 of us we traveled all night until about 3 am when all 3 of us were so exhausted we could not see, so we decided a couple hours of sleep might be a good idea. We found a place to park and slept in the car until about 5 am. We were some place past Lodi, California. Not sure where I was too tired to care lol.

Then continued on our way until Kettling a small town about 2 hrs from my aunts house. it was 8 minutes to 6 which is when the only restaurant opened its doors. The food was wonderful and the break from the car even better. we spent about an hour there just relaxing and enjoying the break. They had the most wonderful trikes, anything you can imagine they had it as a trike, very awesome. The kids wanted everything they saw there, until I pointed out they were a bit big for those trikes lol.

Then we piled back into the car and off we went again to Aunties house !!

This last part to me is the worst its a 2 way highway up steep windey roads. I am a car sick person and this part always makes me a bit queasy. I lived but I am not fond of that road at all.

Finally we arrived only to find that not only was Auntie waiting so was her son David. I was quite pleased with this since David is one of my favorites. They immediately had us out of the house, well everyone but grandpa who has age as an excuse lol. Off to the beach and yummy Avocado stands.

Isn't he Adorable he is one of the youngest of our generation and so adorable 25 single and sweet. He is in college, works hard and is a good boy to his mama, He stayed until monday when he had to go back to work. We loved visiting with him and found some one we would love to know better.

That story and many others are for another time though. The story shall continue some day soon. Yes and alot more photo's too.

Vacation prep and Springing summer cleaning

So I know my dear friends and family probably think I have vanished off the earth lately.

I have really just been doing much needed deep cleaning and editing of possession's.

We are doing this in part so when we come back from California ( for those who do not know we leave Friday the 1st and we will be back Sunday the 10th. at some point lol) we can unpack and really just enjoy the unhurried life for a few days.

the other reason is because the 22nd of august we are expecting to have a family get together with derricks siblings and father.

This is Derricks dad Dale obviously getting in a quick well deserved nap lol.

This Danny he tends to be the kids favorite person and always seems to be there best friend.

This is Dia a bit more serious but sweet and wonderful to hang out with.

Now a personal favorite of mine is Ed. Adopted as a sibling and some one I can not imagine not being a part of our family.

We have not seen them since Dec. 2006 so we are very excited ( a few longer than that). I love my in-laws Derrick is very lucky in his family. I am just grateful that although I was not blessed into such a great home I married into a wonderful family instead.

They are loving,loyal people who would give there shirt off there back to anyone.

When they get here I am hoping we can just enjoy family time and have fun together like we used to before moved to Utah. Not being near them was on of the bigger sacrifice's we made.

So to make that possible with school starting that next week I am doing deep cleaning so that I can feel comfortable with there visit and really relax.( I suck at relaxing and i get people anxiety which is why I ramble a lot on phones and in groups silly I know but it is very compulsive behavior lol)

Derrick next week will be working ghastly hours Mon-Thur. so that we can leave on Friday instead of Saturday with out sacrificing a vacation day or loosing pay. So this whole weekend is all about prep.

I hope every ones summer is just as nice as ours has turned out to be.

Joy

young love.. cinnfull ramblings

Then 2000

Now 2008

Derk and I have recently celebrated 8 years of marriage. in recent conversations the subject of relationships etc and as we spoke on that subject it got me thinking.

Have you ever stopped to evaluate the loves of your youth? Took stock of mistakes, failures and close calls? If not I truly suggest it. For me this process reminded me of why experiencing that pain was now well worth it because I was forced through that pain to truly assess what I was doing because of the pain I was causing myself.

The things I learned from looking back.

1.Men that are not so nice can sense a woman who are vulnerable or hurting. They know your pain and will given the chance use the pain your in to further inflict pain on you in various ways. or at least try to get a little nookie.

2.Read the book and the cover, I say this because a mans appearance does matter to us women yet in future years the inside of that book will matter a whole lot more.

My husband is a prime example of getting past the cover to see the wonderful person inside. Now though not hideous derrick looked like everything I was trying not to date. He had long hair, he was transient and seemed to be listlessly passing through this world. He seemed to care not for daily things and only wanted to play in the sun and have fun.

How far from the truth this turned out to be. yes, he is still fun loving and youthful. yet the man I know now is hard working almost workaholic who takes his responsibilities to heart. Though we have yet to hit easy street we have always made it through mostly unscathed. he has been a wonderful provider and friend these last 8 yrs. my only regret with him was not waking up sooner to how great of a guy he really is.

3. Never settle for the guy because you have history or even for love. Love is work but work does not include loosing your self worth or your physical safety.

If he is abusive or neglectful leave. Now there are signs of this behavior long before it goes terribly wrong. things like love taps because you did something he didn't like, controlling behavior etc.

Trust me the pain of leaving him will fade long before the abuse would ever get better. I know the pain that keeps you there. Yet staying there only makes it worse.

If you have kids that should double your resolve to get out as fast as you can, they have the right to grow up in a house in which there mother is not hurt emotionally or physically. Love yourself and them enough not to stay.

4.Live for today but have hope for tomorrow. I find one thing that keeps me so happy in my marriage is that I like to focus on all the wonderful things being with him gives me now . In the past with other men I had relationships with. I was never satisfied with what they had to give even when with at least a few of them it was actually a pretty good life that were offering.

Threes my ramble of the week lol. I have found the last while a very soul searching time so I am sure there Will be more posts like this.

A vacation at last

It's official we will be going on vacation. after 8 years of marriage and 2 kids. I will actually get a vacation!!! I mean i have never even gotten a honeymoon. I am so excited to actually get a chance to get away from things and enjoy ourselves some.



Now this will not be elaborate. The one reason we can afford to go is because we are traveling in my grandfathers mini-van and sharing the costs with him. We won't be staying in hotels and I am sure we will not be trying to afford a major resort, yet there is ton's to do and see with out spending a million dollars.



The best part is we will get to see the family. My aunt Louise is like a mother to me so getting together with her is wonderful!!
Plus Craig's mom Virginia or grandma, who recognises me as her sons only child is 85 still active and vibrant.Visiting her will be exciting!! She has never met my husband and kids. When things were horrible she would always try to help me feel better.
We will also be visiting my god mother Electra.

these are all people who for the last few years i have been unable to see very much. I wish we lived closer to them because i know my time with them is ticking away.I am just so happy to be able to do this i have prayed for it all year knowing the chances are pretty slim that we could find a way.

So have you guys figured out where were going??


Creston california near pisom beach is our main stop but we will also be in LA for a day's stay.

This means beach's and wine country for 10 days!!!

The son who makes me laugh

This is Dallon asleep on our toilet. isn't he sweet.

This is Dallon smiling away. He has over the years done many things to make me laugh at almost every occasion.

This was no exception. Now for the last year Dallon has been unhappy with us for not providing the sister he thinks he is entitled too. For my part I have told him to talk to god about this and I am waiting for him to get back to me on this ROFL.

Well i guess he has now decided that he will have his own baby in pretend world as he calls it.

We watch way to many science shows so he has a pretty good understanding about where babies come from etc..

Well he decided to pretend to give birth to twins a boy and a girl darina and dallon.

Now when i say give birth i mean he laid down in a bean bag but his legs in the air and grunted telling dax to catch his babies. I was DIEING!!!!! then proceeded to breast feed his babies.

when i asked him about this he said that it was just pretend world mom boys cant give have babies for real. ROFLROFLROFL

Thanks for reading i hope you laughed as hard i as i did.

My Dr. Phil Letter

Okay so I have gotten tired lately of all the sad stories written about our autistic children. and really want to share hope with other moms and dads out there with autistic children.

so here's my letter I wrote to Dr. Phil.

Dear Dr. Phil

My name is Joy Neds I am a loving mother too 2 boys Dax 7 and Dallon 6 and I am married to a wonderful husband Derrick. I write today because I am a mother of a 7 year old Autistic child who we luckily got the help for at an earlier than average age. His diagnosis's are ASD, oral evasive, Developmental Speech Apraxia, Hypotonia, and FTT ( seems to be doing better on this one :) ). Our road is still long but instead of fearing it I try too look at as an adventure like no other,I would love to share my message of hope and a light at the end of that dark tunnel mom's who have children with autism face. My sons proof that yes although the path is steep and sometimes with out seeming hope. If we as parents are proactive and do all we can that our children can and do succeed.

As a mom of autistic child I do not have all the answers but maybe some ideas that can help other mothers out there who like me can not afford the 26,000 a year schools or insane therapies that seem to show little results. These are just little things that I feel can help other moms like myself walk this maze called Autism.

Some suggestions for other parents are

1. Children on the spectrum that I have interacted with have done better with parents that are "" lovingly strict"". This means setting clear and strong expectations and guide line for these kids. I find quite a few moms of these kids want to baby them and protect them for the realities of this world. I understand this desire and fight myself with it all the time,yet we have to remember when were gone they need to know how to handle everyday life and responsibilities. We are not just there parents we are there life line into the real world. They need strong structure from us who spend the very most time with.Love your autisic kids enough to believe they to can learn the rules of life.
2. Never allow anyone to tell you as a mom you do not know what's going on with your child.
You are your child's Advocate. If your instinct says over and over too you that something is wrong it likely is.
A.When my son was 6 months old I went to my sons doctor because he had stopped eating almost completely. I felt in my heart that this was not good. The doctor looked at my husband saw he was a small guy and said oh don't worry he is small for size but so is your husband no worries. Hell eat when he is hungry. I then asked but why would a 6 month old stop eating and stop growing. His response is its normal he will be just fine.

I went home feeling stupid and that I was silly to worry so much.

I went back again a few months later and got the same results.

I then decided to go to any other doctor I could find. I was lucky I found Dr. Kuo. To this day although we moved a few years later and no longer use her services that she saved my sons life and mine.

When I went in to her I let her know that he was 13 months and that from 6 month to now he had not grown in any way and that he would only eat a bite of food a day, he had also by then started to speak and then quit.She was immediately proactive. She got us to a wonderful speech and food therapist Dr. Gaylord Pinder at the children's therapy center of Kent Washington. We did 2-3 days a week therapy for both issues, we discovered a wonderful drink that helped him maintain his weight while we worked on his food issues. Dr. Kuo and Gaylord pinder also helped us when my sons early intervention preschool teacher refused to test him for autism citing his age as a major factor against testing ( he was 3 not too young in my view).

They found us wonderful Specialist in the field who evaluated him and helped us decide to move to Utah for better resources for our son.

What I learned from this is that not every doctor is right and that we as parents have the right and responsibility to find out what is really going on.

3. Is we as parents forget to ask for help and give ourselves or others a break.

Now not only do I mean finding things that help you to be happy but also that although ideally a perfectly clean house and such is great so is a house that is clean enough. Find time just to be the fun person even if it is only by rolling around on the floor with your kids.

The other part of this is not always passing judgment on others on how they do things. Every parent has a bad day and all kids are strewn with issues. Do not assume that because my son vocalizes in a store or an elevator or does crazy stunts with condiments. That I am a bad / inattentive parent.Parents of autistic deal with behaviors that would drive a saint insane. My son needs a 5 minute window to do major damage to my house. He is smart and sneaky, combine that with the crazy autistic behaviors and the disasters are too numerous to count!! I am considered over protective and a strict mom by most accounts, I do not believe in corporeal punishment but I believe my job is clearly to teach them right from wrong. Even my son who has done a ton of therapy over the years does crazy things.

The final word of advice is...

Learn to laugh at those major messes and things your children will do.

My sons messes have left me and my husband in stitch's more times than not.

One in particular is a living legend in our house. about 5 months ago my son decided to start hoarding items. I unfortunately am not a supper observant person and did not notice my food storage jars of Curry and taco seasoning and chili powder were gone. nor did i notice that the fire extinguishers we had had disappeared. I have since noticed he like to hide things over months at a time for future use. He used these items he had hoarded at the time to decorate the basement where his room is with both fire extinguishers and all the BULK spices. when i discovered this he was covered like a curry and white covered ghost.Now i had two reactions one was desperation over the disaster i was going to have to clean up.The other was pure laughter. Now i know not to laugh at this kind of behavior around my child but I had to find a quick place to die laughing over this picture i had of my son covered in that stuff.

Now i am not saying don't get mad they need the limits set and to know that they are responsible for there behaviors but take time to also enjoy the funny thing these kids do,

Thanks
Joy Neds

Sweet little boy's

Photo session June 11Th 2007

So on Friday while waiting for our play date to start I decided

to do some

quick photo's of the boys.Dax is seen her relaxing against a tree limb. He is quite afraid of heights

so this was as high as he was willing to go.Here is Dallon being a monkey. He loved posing and took many more shots than his brother did. I love this photo, this really shows dax's personality. His smile is not a

cheesy grin but it always makes me smile. lol.

This photo captures the more serious side of Dallon. He can be so serious when you least expect it from him. this photo makes me want to hug him tight lol, for it tells me he will not be a little boy forever.Here's my dashing young man being coy and giving his i am up to something sly smile. If i see this smile I know!! He has done something he was not supposed to .
I hope these photo's inspire you to go climb a tree and remember what it was like when playing ruled your world.

CINN