Thursday, September 6, 2012
A path found
Ever known you had a gift and yet never could find a path to get you there? Well that been me for the last 11 years. I knew I wanted to help other women have a more joyful birth and begin to trust there bodies again.
One thing or another seemed to step in the way life just seemed to go in other paths. Well that path has now led me to the people I needed to know to get me where I wanted and needed to be. Seems like it almost to easy now in some ways. I know my path and I am amazed to finally be here.I am also grateful to the friends and family who helped emotionally and finacially ( thanks god mom :)
At the end of this month I am taking the training to be a certified CAPPA doula.I know quite a bit but I truly want to know more and want to know how to fully help woman through this.
I have already attended births helped talk family through difficult and not so happy births.I always felt like this is what I am here for.
Now I get to expand and help those who may not know me on a social basis yet need a doula for a million reasons or just simply one.
Why a Doula knowing I won't make a million dollars or get rich ?
It's simple I am for family empowerment and Female empowerment even more.I want every woman to have a birth where she feels like all her need were met and that even if things go wrong her birth was everything it could be.
I want every Father/Partner to be able to embrace the moment his child comes into this world in a way he is apart of it not just a coach.He is a father and husband first this moment could not be with out him.
No matter your family dynamics GAY, Straight,Single,Married you deserve the birth experience that is free a fear and that has a reassuring voice through the process.
I want every Family to celebrate birth as the wonderful begining it is instead of this thing we have to get through in order to have a baby. It can and should be more.
I want to help guide and love families through to the next step.
We as a society have made birth more about doctors comfort than mothers safety for a very very long time now.
I am for doctors do not get me wrong but I am not for institutionalization of a natural process.
If you want certain things during your birth.I am for that, but I want you to know the real risks and the real options that go with that. So you are empowered for you!!!
So I start now have started and I am officially taking clients for births as of today.
Come check out my facebook page and say hello :)
https://www.facebook.com/DharmicDoulaServices?ref=hl
I hope you all a blessed day :)
Friday, May 11, 2012
Short simple post, We are at louise's she really seems to like having us here and seemed to actually needed our help. Her land had gotten a little out of hand.We have also started a small chicken farm I swear we are at around 50 chickens 25 of which are chicks lol. We also have 3 Kittens all being fed by our never been pregnant Dog. Yup she is a great mommy and doggie even to kittens HAHAHA. Love to Our friends and family.
The neds
Sunday, February 19, 2012
T-Minus 5 days
The Rv and trailer are bought. The house is slowly but surely getting emptied and either going to the Rv or the trailer or to DI ( goodwill for those out of utah lol ).
What started as us dreaming about retirement has turned into a family adventure a year ago I would have been to scared to go on.
Derrick has not seemed this happy since we were first married. I never realized how much the daily grind was really grinding him down.
We all seem to be getting along better and we have not even left yet.
I am so excited myself and giggle for no reason at all, I am still scared but have found a calm within myself that makes it okay .
More updates to come can not wait to see family and new places big and small.
Will post soon :)
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Children growing bigger every day
Looking through old photos can be very sad some times for a mom who realizes her kids are zooming through and getting so much older than I am quite ready for.
As I went through and sorted out all we cared about etc it really hit me how fast my cuties have grown since some of the photos had been taken.
They were so cute and loved to be together when this photo was taken at Ages 3 & 5
Now my boys are much bigger at 11 and 9 years old. Now they never want each other near and are stll cute but way more mouthy. (yes Steve I am getting what I deserve), They have opinions and thoughts so unlike my own yet my print is there I hope they excel and do so much more than I ever allowed myself to so.
Hope the holidays were kind to all we love and even those we dont ( though that list is quite tiny)
Love ME
As I went through and sorted out all we cared about etc it really hit me how fast my cuties have grown since some of the photos had been taken.
They were so cute and loved to be together when this photo was taken at Ages 3 & 5
Now my boys are much bigger at 11 and 9 years old. Now they never want each other near and are stll cute but way more mouthy. (yes Steve I am getting what I deserve), They have opinions and thoughts so unlike my own yet my print is there I hope they excel and do so much more than I ever allowed myself to so.
Hope the holidays were kind to all we love and even those we dont ( though that list is quite tiny)
Love ME
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Courage to follow your path..
As many know and others may find out these last 2 almost 3 years have been hard in many ways.
2 babies dying in my arms and 1 miscarriage has brought in the last couple years a life path much different than the path I had foreseen. The last child our son Dragen came close to me going with him, I hemmoraged near to death 2 days after he was born. He was born still on 12/23/2010 due to stress and my body not being able to handle it all . The doctors said we could try for another but that with this being my 20th pregnancy with 5 making it to at least 2nd trimester chances were not great that the child would survive or that I would be there to care for it even if it did.
Derrick was sweet and took care of his side of it so that as he put it he gets to have me a lot longer. He is such a trooper and really appreciate the help his dad gave in this.
The strange part is 4 years ago I would have been devastated to know that my 2 sweet boys would be my only kids I get to raise. Now though it seems these trials have allowed me to start living for myself . Still be a mom and a loving wife but to really and truly start allowing myself to follow my dream path.
3 years ago after dharma died we went through some counseling that helped us mend the damage done by the loss. One thing she pointed out though was that its fine and nobel to live only for your kids but that living for you is just as important. She said that maybe we should focus on moving out of utah where we had moved to solely for dax's benefit.
I was shocked at first by the suggestion I have in general put every one elses needs before mine just out of habit and hating to hurt or disappoint them.Being a good mom to dax and dallon have been until recently all I ever thought about.Now though I know to be that good mom I need happiness also.
We decided at that time to start moving forward with the moving some where else. Where had been the biggest debate. Of course we had planned to move 19 months ago and just felt so unready so we cancelled our plans and waited. I mean we knew west coast and all 3 states had reasons why it would be awesome to live there. family, friends,etc.
The we got pregnant with dragen and figured that was our sign to stay. Life happened after all that and were still in utah.What finally freed us from waiting was changes in dax's school situation and therapy. With his speech therapist gone on a mission to singapore and the school making decisions I neither support or am willing to live with moving now makes logical sense for us.
I recently took stock and listed what lessons I have learned in the last while.
1. Time and place is everything
2.There is always another path dust your self off and go on with your life. ( easier said than done but trust me it is always doable.
3.Paths some times lead you to life styles and experiences you may never had seen your self doing or though you had to wait until you were old and grey.
4.Trust your gut.
5. you are not guilty ( my own issues are very imbedded in this one lol.) this has been my mantra since heck I can make myself feel guilty for a death a million miles away.
Derrick and I are finally ready to follow the path we had wanted to follow years ago when we were young and first in love. To work for our selves and live in an rv together and travel where the path leads us. Now some friends already know this and think we are insane,irresponsible ETC....
Maybe we are but I have only one life and I do not want to sit on the side lines while others enjoy my dreams. Doing what we have been doing is not getting us any where. I would rather take a risk now than wait till I am 50 and wish I had done it sooner. Or worse something happens and I never took the chance to follow my path.
So we are moving and buying a motor home and a travel trailer. The Rv is planned to be a Class C likely older model but livable. The travel trailer to most will seem wierd but hey as a wire artist and jewelry maven I need a good bead studio/ room so we will gut most of the trailer we get and make it into our mobile bead studio. No money if my supplies I have squirrled away over the last few years were not there.
I am good at my work and know that by making it full time for both derk and I can live simply with that income. The kids are excited to move and a little scared as can be expected for kids who have only gone to one school there whole lives lol.
The next step has been where. Well with my favorite aunty ( always has been :) ) and awesome God mother and Father are there in California with its lovely farmers markets and love of truly hand made artisian work has turned out to be the place we both can agree on. So end of febuary we will be packed and ready to go to morro bay or pisomo beach or such. Hitch up our traveling band and head for california land of my birth and a place where our path has lead us. Packing up and moving forward has seemed to take on a life of it's own. Funny how that happens when you are on your path again.
2 babies dying in my arms and 1 miscarriage has brought in the last couple years a life path much different than the path I had foreseen. The last child our son Dragen came close to me going with him, I hemmoraged near to death 2 days after he was born. He was born still on 12/23/2010 due to stress and my body not being able to handle it all . The doctors said we could try for another but that with this being my 20th pregnancy with 5 making it to at least 2nd trimester chances were not great that the child would survive or that I would be there to care for it even if it did.
Derrick was sweet and took care of his side of it so that as he put it he gets to have me a lot longer. He is such a trooper and really appreciate the help his dad gave in this.
The strange part is 4 years ago I would have been devastated to know that my 2 sweet boys would be my only kids I get to raise. Now though it seems these trials have allowed me to start living for myself . Still be a mom and a loving wife but to really and truly start allowing myself to follow my dream path.
3 years ago after dharma died we went through some counseling that helped us mend the damage done by the loss. One thing she pointed out though was that its fine and nobel to live only for your kids but that living for you is just as important. She said that maybe we should focus on moving out of utah where we had moved to solely for dax's benefit.
I was shocked at first by the suggestion I have in general put every one elses needs before mine just out of habit and hating to hurt or disappoint them.Being a good mom to dax and dallon have been until recently all I ever thought about.Now though I know to be that good mom I need happiness also.
We decided at that time to start moving forward with the moving some where else. Where had been the biggest debate. Of course we had planned to move 19 months ago and just felt so unready so we cancelled our plans and waited. I mean we knew west coast and all 3 states had reasons why it would be awesome to live there. family, friends,etc.
The we got pregnant with dragen and figured that was our sign to stay. Life happened after all that and were still in utah.What finally freed us from waiting was changes in dax's school situation and therapy. With his speech therapist gone on a mission to singapore and the school making decisions I neither support or am willing to live with moving now makes logical sense for us.
I recently took stock and listed what lessons I have learned in the last while.
1. Time and place is everything
2.There is always another path dust your self off and go on with your life. ( easier said than done but trust me it is always doable.
3.Paths some times lead you to life styles and experiences you may never had seen your self doing or though you had to wait until you were old and grey.
4.Trust your gut.
5. you are not guilty ( my own issues are very imbedded in this one lol.) this has been my mantra since heck I can make myself feel guilty for a death a million miles away.
Derrick and I are finally ready to follow the path we had wanted to follow years ago when we were young and first in love. To work for our selves and live in an rv together and travel where the path leads us. Now some friends already know this and think we are insane,irresponsible ETC....
Maybe we are but I have only one life and I do not want to sit on the side lines while others enjoy my dreams. Doing what we have been doing is not getting us any where. I would rather take a risk now than wait till I am 50 and wish I had done it sooner. Or worse something happens and I never took the chance to follow my path.
So we are moving and buying a motor home and a travel trailer. The Rv is planned to be a Class C likely older model but livable. The travel trailer to most will seem wierd but hey as a wire artist and jewelry maven I need a good bead studio/ room so we will gut most of the trailer we get and make it into our mobile bead studio. No money if my supplies I have squirrled away over the last few years were not there.
I am good at my work and know that by making it full time for both derk and I can live simply with that income. The kids are excited to move and a little scared as can be expected for kids who have only gone to one school there whole lives lol.
The next step has been where. Well with my favorite aunty ( always has been :) ) and awesome God mother and Father are there in California with its lovely farmers markets and love of truly hand made artisian work has turned out to be the place we both can agree on. So end of febuary we will be packed and ready to go to morro bay or pisomo beach or such. Hitch up our traveling band and head for california land of my birth and a place where our path has lead us. Packing up and moving forward has seemed to take on a life of it's own. Funny how that happens when you are on your path again.
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