Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Special struggles lots of love.

We all have struggles ALL of us rich, poor, educated, or less than. Day to day struggles as a parent can be over whelming. This is especially true for those with kids who have special needs or disabilities. I am a parent to special needs children, It is my greatest joy and my saddest moments sometimes.One was has ADHD,ASD,Apraxis and learning disabilities and the other is PTSD, ADHD, with Dyslexia and a mild learning disability. There both perfect in my eyes they just need more is all. Over the years I have learned to adjust, accomodate, I've done it almost with out thinking really.Its how we've survived. we learned to eat breath and live just for them and their needs. The early years were a blur when instead of play dates and cheerios it was, Speech therapy, Play therapy,Food therapy, etc. Add to that Doctors visits, stares and comments from strangers or worse those closest to you who should know better or refuse even to acknowledge that child,then theres the testing, and treatments.Now add the constant worry that you some how in some way I did this to my child, or how with all their issues can they ever have a "normal" Life. At times I felt so inadequate After awhile I came to acceptance and learned to meet their needs in there way and in there time.I learned to let go of those expectations of normalcy The therapy's become less often and they go to school.I still worry most days but now its how can I help learn at a better pace or what kids might be saying to them. I've gotten used to the how could you even think of using medications Have you tried behavior therapy instead, Honey I graduated magna cum laude in ABA among other fun behavior based learning. Both my kids have had therapy tell they were begging for no more. I've done parenting classes and studied books on my kids disabilities each book and therapist all have their opinion and theory on how to make them normal or succeed in life. Some help others make me want to bounce flaming marshmellow's off their heads.I have accepted that all this comes with the job. What I struggle with and I know other's with kids like mine and others who have it far worse is a system that think's they some how a stranger to my child or children depending on the case have a better understanding of what my kids need. How is that even able to come out of your mouth? I have been next to my children through every step of their life, I have loved them changed their bumms and dealt with messes a saint woulda beat them for. When they got to school age I volunteered full time at their school just so I knew they were safe and so that I could learn more. I keep them close so that boogie monsters and bad people can not harm them. I take that job more serious than most do, heck sometimes I would say a bit over protective lol. I have raised to this point the best two kids I could. So how are you going to tell me that you a ( insert school staff or therapist or diagnosing doctor etc....) who has already told me that my child is a very special case and that you actually not sure how to proceed know more than I do?? These boys are the air I Breathe I know them for who they are I see them for who they are truly. I can see them as they can be in the future and I even see what flaws they have that might make there future harder. I promise you I make no decision whether its medications,where were living or school placement with out deep and serious thought. I am their parent and you might just want to listen to me so you might learn from the master of being there mom ,me. If I say can we try this please if its possible lets do so. I would not ask if I did not believe it was in there best interest. If I am asking for help there is a reason for it please help. In return I will listen and consider your ideas, I will do research check with others with similar kids and ask a lot of questions. If I tell you no or say that isn't what is best for them it's because I mean it, respect that.

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